Not in Vain

Before you read this post, I encourage you to listen to this sermon from our pastor at Missio Dei Church. I know your hearts will be filled by listening.

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Did you listen? If so, did you weep like I did upon hearing it the first time this past Sunday? I sat in my seat with tears leaking from my eyes periodically, and here's why...

Psalm 126

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.

2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” 3 The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.

4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev! 5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! 6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

During this sermon, I was reminded that the Lord has been faithful to restore my fortunes before and he will do it again! I took a moment to think back on my life, and there isn't a time in my life that God wasn't working. Sure, there may have been moments before when I felt abandoned, but I wasn't. I was never alone, left to my own devices, because God was working (perfectly) behind the scenes (as usual).

During the last 18 months, though, there wasn't much dream-like laughter as I lived through the reality of infertility. I was defeated and frustrated. I was tired. Have you ever been so tired that you wanted to cry? Yeah, that happened. A lot. And yet, I (we, Andy supported me plenty) pushed forward, endured the tests and took the medicine. I feel like I was sowing in tears. And still, sometimes I want to cry, but now (and this is the best part), I anticipate our shouts of joy. I hope, too, that those shouts are just around the corner!

I have such a confidence that God will give us a child and it'll be in ways we never thought possible. If you listened to the sermon, you heard the story about a couple who recently had a late-term miscarriage. Obviously, this hit home with me because of our similar story. On February 1 of this year, this same couple delivered their baby! And during the delivery, the mom said to the nurses and doctors, "Only God could have done this."

It dawned on me in that moment that this is exactly how my heart feels in our process. I want something so radical to happen that we have no choice but to shout God's praises, to laugh endlessly. Lately, I've been praying that somehow God would give us our daughter sooner than expected. You see, adopting from Haiti can take 3-4 years from start to finish before your child moves into your home full-time. 3-4 YEARS!!! That's a long time - and let's be honest, Andy and I aren't getting any younger.

Selfishly, I don't want to wait. I want her now.

You might be wondering why it takes so long to adopt internationally. Our agency put together a helpful article and here's the premise:

1. The documentation required for adoptive families and the home study process can be lengthy.

2. The child is also required to go through a process to ensure they are eligible for adoption, such as a search for biological family and a then the child must wait for a legal process for the parents, such as relinquishment or termination of parental rights.

3. The country’s government also has a role in approving a family to adopt and working with foreign governments can also add to the process as they typically are without as many resources.

4. The length of the waiting family list, and the family’s place on this list can also make the process longer. Referrals are made individually for each child by identifying the family who can best meet that child’s needs. However, this does not mean that there is not a need! The matching process can take time to find the right family.

5. After a family has been matched and approved, the U.S. embassy then needs to issue a visa to the adoptive child and recognize the adoption.

Seems nearly impossible, huh? Well, at the risk of sounding trite, with my God, all things are possible! My new prayer is not that we get our daughter sooner to meet our needs, but to glorify God. My hope is that in his miraculous way, he will work out all of these details so quickly that we can tell the world that there was NO way this should have happened. That without God's working, we would still have an empty room for a child in our house. I want to hear from our agency that, "This never happens. We don't understand how, but you've been matched already!"

Either way, whether our daughter is home in 6 months or 4 years, we will give God the glory. Either way, our tears will not be in vain. We will reap with shouts of joy. Either way, we'll be flying home from Haiti with shouts of joy (hope the people on the airplane don't mind!). In reality, we could not have even begun the process of adoption without God's help. Months ago, when we submitted our application, we weren't sure we'd be able to make that first payment, and he made it happen. He's still providing for us (through many of you), and we are confident he will continue to do so. But wouldn't it be great if this thing that never happens happened for us? And if it happens, that the person who denies God daily can no longer do so because of our story! How beautiful would that be?

Will you join us in praying that our daughter will come home sooner rather than later? So that God's name may be proclaimed and more people love him because of his good work in our lives?